Monday, 27 February 2017

I live in the shadow of my mother’s dementia, it haunts me.

I live in the shadow of my mother’s dementia, it haunts me. 

I have passed the age when my mother’s dementia started to show. I have a lighthearted silly side to my nature. I keep asking myself, is it a sign as I have a playful moment and tease my students in class. I play the fool, maybe I am a fool. I lose words, they float away, oh yes, they come back but not at the moment that I need them, they return a day late. And what was I  saying?  And have I already mentioned I had lunch with Mary? Or was it Judith? I think my memory is getting worse. 

Have I always been like this or has my forgetfulness crept up on me? Is it inherited? Should I get myself tested? Yes, I am frightened, not of dying, of my mind dying.

I live in the shadows of my mother’s dementia.


Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Esther’s Christmas lecture


Well that’s Christmas over, now in only a few days New Year will be over.

Are you stuck with left overs, half eaten tins of biscuits, box of chocolates? Will they still be around as New Year looms and passes? Did you enjoy that extra glass or two or three and now regret you gave in to your relatives and friends telling you, “Well it’s Christmas……it only comes around once a year……go on, you deserve it”.

I hate giving advice, no one likes to hear it. We already know what’s best for us. So I suggest you ignore my advice. Which is firstly make no resolutions. Do not go on a diet, do not have a wish list for what you want to achieve in the new year. Wishes are fine if you live in fairy land. Stop wanting and start doing.

Question and challenge yourself and your old habits and beliefs, they may need refreshing, you may not be in control of your life but you are in the driving seat.

Trust and believe in yourself. No one knows you better than you. Listen to your inner voice. And most of all, blame no one.


Happy New Year.